I've talked with a lot of women over the years who have a desire to adopt but their husbands don't. I know how that is, as my husband wasn't always on the same side of the fence. Still, I did give him full disclosure before we said "I do." It went something like this.
Its 1992. I still have big hair, but its not quite so high. Birkenstocks are my best friend and I've got a hippie vibe going on. My soon-to-be hubby is a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy (some things never change). We're at the local McD's.
boy: "Some day I want to jump out of a plane."
girl: "Cool. That sounds like a good goal for when you are 40. Some day I want to adopt a little girl from China."
boy: "Cool. I can get behind that if you let me jump out of a plane first."
girl: "Cool. Its a deal then."
Or, something like that. But he knew. He also told me if we got 3 kids, we could go for 4. I held him to that one too.
Seriously though, it was about 10 years ago that I started to bring up the China thing. I was pregnant with our 4th child and knew that this would be my last pregnancy, unless God really sent a miracle my way. At that time we were so consumed with diapers, wipes and feeding everyone that the thought of adding another was pretty much out (realize here that when I brought our youngest home from the hospital, our oldest had just turned 5 only 7 days prior. Yeah, we were a little busy.) Still my mama's heart was in it. My husband was too consumed with paying the bills, and I get that. So what did I do?
I prayed. I prayed a lot. Then God told me to shut up. Not about the praying, but about the talking. So I did. God said ask him once a year. Ugh. Really? Not cool. Okay, so I did. Four years later, my husband agreed. That was 6 years ago. 6 years people! So, why have we yet to adopt? Well, timing.
Six years ago it was 2007. We started looking into the process. At that time it was about a 3 year wait for a healthy child. That was a long time, but we were willing to do it. Then, the Great Recession Hit. And boy, did it hit.