Friday, May 31, 2013

You Wanna What?????

I get this a lot. Its the "What the *#!+?" question. Nine times out of 10 its a question of curiosity and interest. Occasionally, its smeared with disbelief and your-crazy sentiment.

Ya know what, ALL of that is okay! It really is! Those questions are good because over the years they have helped us to question ourselves and our intentions. Adoption is a lifelong commitment. Its not a decision to be taken lightly, so bring on the heart searching because once you do this, its forever.

So, why do we want to do this? I can start listing all the reasons, but what is comes down to is that a long, long time ago, God put this on my heart. Yes, it started with me. It took my husband a lot more time than that and that's okay. We'll talk about his journey later.

With that being said, here's my story.

Way back in the late 1980's I had big hair. I'm talking curly big, BIG, big hair. I also had a passion for music and politics (and still do). The requirement of the day for all graduating seniors was to take a class called SWP (Senior World Problems). Despite my severe short-timers disease, I did look forward to and enjoyed this class. I was fortunate that my fellow students in this course numbered only 15 or so, and many of us were honor students and geeks. (I love geeks and always have - they are the ticket girls! Seriously, geeks are golden!).

Upon studying Chinese government and culture, we discussed thoroughly how the one-child policy would effect the socio and economic standing of this country. Through all the debate and discussion, what kept running through my mind was all those little girls. I could see their faces in my head. Thousands and thousands of little girls, being abandoned simply because they were female. It embedded deep in my heart and I can even remember the exact moment sitting in that class, when I said to myself, "I'm going to adopt one of those little girls someday."

That is what psychologists call a 'defining moment.' It has stayed with me since that time and I have never, ever doubted it. In Christian circles we call this a 'calling.' Okay, whatever. I don't care what you call it, I just know deep down, deep within my gut, my soul, my heart that I have a daughter waiting for me in China. You can give me a thousand reasons why we shouldn't pursue this - and believe me, I know them all - but this calling, this yearning, this mama's heart desire trumps all of that. Its one of those unexplainable, deep calling to deep things. Yes, it is a defining of me - it has helped define who I am and for that, I will not doubt its calling.

So there ya go. That's my portion. I have a lot more to say about this - a lot!

Just let me say one more thing - the reason I decided to start this blog in the first place is that when I have searched over the years for blogs that share this walk of adoption, I have come up with dismal results. Most were dry, just-the-facts kinda things. Those are good and serve their purpose but that's not mine. You can find those out there. What I want to share is the emotional and gut part of this. I want to give hope to the folks out there who are called to adopt and yet can't see through the financial burden of doing it (believe me, the numbers don't add up for us). We are just starting this process, so come along with us. Maybe along the path God will impart a vision for you. Maybe one day you will have that deep calling to help an orphan in some still, small way. Or, maybe even a bigger way by giving them a forever family. In any case, I'm glad you're here! Sit a while, won't you?

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